Offensive Contradiction

CA satire - each line features the same rhyme as the title




Weak willed by your own attrition

You’re the blindest thing with 20/20 vision

You’re the babysitter who needs adult supervision

You succeed at failing everything attempted



You're right off the market in the worst condition

1 out of 5 stars in the online listing

Too many choices for your makeshift prison

Your fraudulent free soul’s another slave to the system



Only outsider who requires the center of attention

You’re the loudest voice who's never listening

Gossip queen screams, “Better mind your own business!”

You put yourself in the way in order to say, “Keep your distance!"



You're uniquely boring and ineptly gifted

The most broken brat who ever attempted to fix us

You're a half full glass with a leak that's dripping

On your brand new shoes, now your glass's half empty



You're a new age nutcase faking ancient wisdom

Always preaching what's “real,” mid-pretending

Old school "new energies" quoting words never written

Learning how to live from whom study death for a living



You're a sinner saved by closeted hypochristians

You're a vigilant hippie, hip to neocon glibness

Bull's eye bullshit tools is the title I've given

To you and all the fools who call mindless ranting a religion



Your new slang savvy is wit to the witless

Like your rusty metallic irony's ballsy bitchin

Like your gnarly naysayers' hawking headless hitches

Is that a sense of humor or a vast, immense denseness?



You're not smart enough to be that pretentious

Combining long words which make sense to the senseless

You're a word-a-day calendar trying to construct a sentence

You are an offensive contradiction



I add this poem to my life from which to mark your omission